“Mysterious Wisteria” (Post #27) Lessons Learned by a Dating Widower
Back about 1989, my late wife ‘Ruby’ and I bought and planted a wisteria. We had seen the stunning grapelike flowers in pictures, and thought they’d be gorgeous in our yard. Don’t know what I did wrong, but no blossoms came in the first year; or the second; or the third . . . We did research and learned how and when to prune it, but still no blossoms. We read about what and how to fertilize it, but still no blossoms.
About 10 years later, I suggested that we just cut the darn vine down and plant a rose bush instead. ‘Ruby’ patiently reminded me that we paid a small fortune for it, so I agreed to give it more time. But in the year 2010 when ‘Ruby’ died, 21 years after it was planted, it still hadn’t bloomed. And quite honestly, I forgot about it since then.
I walked past the overgrown monster-of-a-vine, and did a double take. What was that purple stuff hanging near the top? . . . HOLY COW!!!! IT WAS A BLOOM. And looking closer, I counted 11 more blooms! This mysterious wisteria was FINALLY BLOOMING! 24 YEARS AFTER I HAD PLANTED IT??!!
I wept! I got to see it blooming, and ‘Ruby’ didn’t. What I was ready to chop down and throw on the compost pile, finally decided to show its stunning and fragrant beauty. 24 years later! Incredible!
This minor miracle reminded me of what has been missing in my life. HOPE.
I’ve been a widower now for t-h-r-e-e long never-ending y-e-a-r-s. And just when I think God has given up on me, and just when I’m ready to give up on Him – he reminds me that He CAN do the impossible. His love endures forever. Forever God is faithful. Forever God is strong! Forever God is with us! Forever, and ever, forever.
Those of you ‘marathon widowers’ out there who are still grieving 3 years (like me) or longer . . . are you living in a cocoon? Have you given up hope? Have you grown content with your emptiness? Have you become the poster child for the local Lonely Hearts club? What are we waiting for?
16 I heard and my heart pounded,
my lips quivered at the sound;
decay crept into my bones,
and my legs trembled.
Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity
to come on the nation invading us.
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights. Habakkuk 3
That same ‘Sovereign LORD’ is able to meet my every need. He knows what (and who) I need, even better than I know! (Remember, He even knows how many hairs I have on my head!)
If you’re sitting in your living room thinking that Miss Right will ring your doorbell, forget it. You wanna see God at work? Then take that step of faith. Send HER an email! Send Her that text. Send Her that card. That huge ‘Berlin-wall’ you’ve been building CAN COME DOWN – one hammer-blow at a time.
The story is told of a widower who never dated anyone after his spouse passed away. Instead, he purchased a $100,000 Mercedes Benz SL Roadster. About 2 days after he bought it, he died. The undertaker was surprised to learn that the widower’s will specified that he was to be buried in his newest car instead of a coffin.
The day of his funeral arrived, and the gawking crowd pressed around the burial site to see the crane slowly and carefully lower the Benz into the ground, with the grotesque corpse propped awkwardly behind the steering wheel.
As the car finally reached the bottom of the hole, a man in the crowd watching the sight enviously blurted; “Man, that’s livin’!”
You and me . . . we’ve been healing . . . for a long time now. And the healing process WILL continue until we’re six-feet-under! I’d rather die with a smile on my face. And being buried in a Benz won’t ever be the source of that smile.
I’m pressed, but not crushed. Persecuted, not abandoned.
Struck down, but not destroyed.
I’m blessed beyond the curse, for His promise will endure
And His joy’s gonna be my strength!
Though sorrow may last for the night,
His joy comes in the morning! Partial lyrics to ‘Trading My Sorrows’