Pathetically Apathetic (Post #12)


broken-heart-wallpaper (6)

“Pathetically Apathetic”   (Post #12) Lessons Learned by a Dating Widower

There are days that I’m just tired.  Tired of even thinking about dating.  Tired of starting over.  Tired of sharing the rudimentary peripheral chit-chat when going on an initial date with a new girl.  And, if you date too many first-timers, there’s always the danger of “I’m sorry if I told you this already . . .”

And first-time expectations are horrible for online dates.  ‘She’s your perfect match!’ the web site erroneously proclaims. That certainly drags in some unrealistic prospects.  I think I’d much rather meet someone informally and through happenstance; do the ‘Hi, how’ya doing?’ routine; see where it leads; and if it leads nowhere, I can just walk away – no strings attached.  I don’t have to stretch out the date for 90 minutes acting like I’m interested (when in fact, I’m thinking “I’d rather be getting a root canal.”).

I think I have every right to be apathetic.  After all, I was VERY MUCH in love with my first wife, ‘Ruby’.  After all, we WERE married 38 years before cancer stole her from me, and most marriages these days are lucky to last 3.8 years!  After all, we birthed and raised X# of wonderful kids, and have X# of beautiful grandkids.  Why should I be expected to be blessed again in another marriage?  Quit while I’m ahead, right?!!  And, have you looked around at who’s available?  All the ‘good ones’ are taken!

I’ll always remember ‘Ruby’ telling me before she died, “I have no doubt you’ll get remarried.”   I was flustered to hear her say that, so I blurted “I’ll get a pet dog instead!”  I did follow through with that promise.  It was about 2 months after ‘Ruby’ died that I got that dog.  He was such great company . . . but . . . but, well, how can I put it.  He was a dog . . . He just wasn’t a woman.

Theologian Trystan Hughes is credited with this quote: Pain may well remind us that we are alive, but love reminds us WHY we are alive. {emphasis added}

Life without the love of a woman is like . . . well, it’s like saying ‘no’ to hot fudge on vanilla ice cream; like watching black/white TV instead of color; like disconnecting half of my sparkplug wires.  I’ve learned that the love of woman completes me, but more than that, when I GIVE my love, I find that I am truly fulfilled.

Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”  I may be pathetic, but if it’s in God’s plan, I’m willing to give a second rib for a second love of my life.


Now that you’ve finished reading this post, I’m sure you have some thoughts on this topic, and I’d love to know what they are.  Feel free to post your comments, whether you disagree or agree with what I’ve learned.  I’d be indebted to learn from your thoughts and experiences too! 


3 thoughts on “Pathetically Apathetic (Post #12)

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