“Adolescent Testosterone” (Post #7) Lessons Learned by a Dating Widower
I really can’t understand this phenomenon. I’ve got adolescent testosterone, but I have a 62 year old body!
Just what am I saying? I’m admitting that my eyes and my brain seem to be attracted to younger women. Now just a minute while I go look in a mirror . . . (that picture in the corner of your monitor is NOT of me – just a picture of an old geezer that I found on Google Images)
. . . just got back from the mirror.. .Yup – I’m old looking. I look like I’m 62, not a day younger. I’ve got wrinkles creasing my forehead, gray hair coming in like mold in a Petri dish, and muscles waving a white flag to gravity.
So, if that’s all true, why is it that my eyes and my brain can’t be more discriminating – and just be attracted to women close to my age. Oh, wait – THEY look old too! Woman my age look my age . . . OLD! And, I really don’t want ‘OLD’. Think about it for a minute. When I go to buy a pair of pants, I look for something that’s new; that’s creased perfectly, that’s not faded, that makes me look good when I wear them. I don’t look for something that looks worn out – that looks old – that’s patched, repaired or used. Can’t I do that when ‘shopping’ for dates?
A SIDE NOTE: I wear glasses with ‘progressive’ lenses (a nice term that makes me think I’m younger than I am – but actually, these lenses are for older people who need multiple degrees of magnification). I think I also need a small mirror attached to each lens allowing me to see myself, to remind me what I look like whenever my eyes are drawn to a younger woman.
You’re right. I really didn’t admit to a mistake yet in this blog post.
You probably guessed it. On the encouragement of a friend (I always like to share the blame), I asked out a 44 year old girl. Born 18 years after me, I could have been her father. And the way the conversation went on that date – she might as well have been my daughter. Her view of the world, her values, her opinions and experiences . . . all were about 18 years apart from mine. Nice girl. Youthful figure. No wrinkles. No need for a gallon of make-up. But we REALLY WERE different generations.
That date convinced me. I can enjoy the scenery, but I shouldn’t be a part of it. After all, I enjoyed visiting Alaska, but I’d never survive living there. It’s already a huge challenge to make a marriage work in today’s world, without dealing with the barriers of a generation gap.
My solution to this dilemma? This might not work for you, but every time I now see a young beautiful girl, I might look (without lusting), and then remind myself that she is someone’s daughter. After all, how would I feel if a horny 62 year old man was interested in dating MY daughter?
Just as I can’t resist temptation by myself, I ALSO need the Lord’s lenses in my glasses, helping me to TRULY SEE the difference between superficial short-lived ‘pretty’ and lasting intrinsic beauty.
Now that you’ve finished reading this post, I’m sure you have some thoughts on this topic, and I’d love to know what they are. Feel free to post your comments, whether you disagree or agree with what I’ve learned. I’d be indebted to learn from your thoughts and experiences too!