Birds of Prey (Post #5)


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“Birds of Prey”       Post #5     Lessons Learned by a Dating Widower

I live close to a migratory path of several species of hawks.  As you know, hawks are birds of prey.  They have an incredible sense of sight and are usually at the top of their food chain.  About a year ago, I had a Cooper hawk fly into my backyard, and I watched him as he waited for some purple finches to feed at my bird feeder.   Having endless patience, one clueless finch finally flew in, and it didn’t take long for Mr. Cooper to snag his prey.  With his steel-like talons he carried him off to a private corner of my yard, and proceeded to have lunch.  It was a gruesome event to watch . . . and when he was done, nothing but a pile of feathers was left.  I was stunned to think that one bird could and WOULD actually devour another bird!

Little did I realize that the same animal behavior exists in humans!

As a widower, there have been times when I’ve felt like lunch, with ME being the entrée.  I’ve felt like that clueless purple finch.  And just who was that stalking bird of prey that was waiting to devour me?   A woman.  (“Sorry!” to any females who happen to be reading this post.  But don’t tune me out just yet.)

I’ve learned that it’s not a phenomenon of nature for ‘hawks’ to appear after you’ve just lost a spouse.   And in my case it only took a couple of weeks after I first became a widow.  A typical ‘hawk’ would typically be a single, divorced, separated or sometimes widowed woman – within 10 (+ or -) years of your age.   Now don’t think that I’m a ‘Daniel Craig’ kind of catch.  No way!  I’m an average 62 year-old guy, with an average smile, with an average amount of hair and an average gut.  So I didn’t have ‘hawks’ flocking to my door.  But in spite of that, there was more than one occasion when a ‘hawk’ appeared seemingly out of nowhere with a casserole and a smile.   Or appeared via a letter delivered by our U.S.P.S.  Or just happened to innocently walk by the house when I was working outside.

I’m not talking about my dyed-in-the wool-friends or neighbors.  Not talking about female friends I happened to have when ‘Ruby’ and I were married.  No, these were ‘hawks’ that strangely became apparent through some subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) coincidence.   (Hey – once I even got a phone call from a ‘widow-hawk’ asking me about my availability!)

Don’t think for one minute that I was astute to have spotted all the ‘hawks’.  Remember, this blog is about lessons I’ve learned . . . and most of them (probably ALL of them) are from mistakes that I’ve made.

The mistake I DID make on several occasions was falling for a lure that a ‘hawk’ sometimes uses.  But I’ll save that less-than-sagacious subject for my next post.   In the interim, keep looking up!

Now that you’ve finished reading this post, I’m sure you have some thoughts on this topic, and I’d love to know what they are.  Feel free to post your comments, whether you disagree or agree with what I’ve learned.  I’d be indebted to learn from your thoughts and experiences too! 


6 thoughts on “Birds of Prey (Post #5)

  1. Thanks for some other informative site. Where else may I get that kind of info written in such an ideal manner? I have a venture that I am just now working on, and I have been at the look out for such information.

  2. Don’t ever lower, despite the fact that that you’re distressing, since never know who seems to be plummeting in love with your main giggle.

  3. Helllooooo, women who get played by widowers feel the same way, some of men miss the physical inimacy, and some just want a woman around to not be so lonely, others are looking for a carbon copy of their late wifes….some move woman to woman, thinking a new woman will feel a void that they should have resolved BEFORE dating, PLEASE INDICATE THERE ALL SORTS OF VULTURES, and the ALL PREY.

  4. In my 2 dating experiences with widowers I have found that I have to caution THEM to be wary of these women. These two fellows were immediately infatuated and impetuous (Ann Margret – Sophia Loren I am not!) it made ME step back and have a word with them about haste and dangers. Turned out that neither were really ready to open their hearts to new love but apparently the attention and physical “possibilities” were too enticing. Time, processing, and more time is any widower’s and dating couple’s best friend.

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